I wonder what happened to that
Wondrous little seedling
That wakes up at midnight, craving for milk
But then he reaches for the stars
Instead of crying
Strolling through my neurons I go.
I wonder what happened to that
Wondrous little seedling
That wakes up at midnight, craving for milk
But then he reaches for the stars
Instead of crying
It all started with me as a fetus
All covered with blood and some mucus
I was held on mother’s hands
Still fresh from her insides
I wake up to this world, crying
Because life ordered me to do so
I was a toddler
I learned to play
These childish games
Laughter’s worth everything, not to be repaid
I prance above the clouds, happy
Because life ordered me to do so
First day of high school
They say be the most presentable
Have nice friends and a good amount of fun
For this will never pass again in the long run
Times change
Hormones build up
Rushing through my body with rage
That leads me with all these crap
I did what early adults does, enjoying
Because life ordered me to do so
I’m about to cross the bridge
My life that automatically skyrocketed up, up above
Being ordered
To what life wants me to
But I know for sure
I do not have to follow life
For being free is not by force
And not by order of which is which
How you connect yours to what others did
I, want to get rid
I, don’t want my life for me to lead
I… want to grow my own seed in my own process
I’m not the river that flows with the rushes
I’m not the… sky that des the same thing over and over
THIS IS NOT A LAW
That it’s an imperative for you to follow
THIS IS NOT AN OBLIGATION
That as I cross that adulthood bridge I will do what is typical
I MAKE MY LIFE
I AM NOT WHAT LIFE ORDERED ME
I don’t want to be this adult who gets to marriage because “life ordered me”
I don’t want to die with white strands waiting to fall off my skin
I don’t want to be in this same generic coffin, or such life shit
I DON’T WANT TO BE
What my life ordered me
I want this to stop
Like how this poem ends.
You
Indeed
I felt those words
But there is yet to ponder
That I thought you already understood
You were just your own canvas
But not others’ brush strokes
You thought you captivate me with your fluidity
You
That thinks you made it longer there
You
That makes yourself tweet endlessly
Like a hummingbird losing its patience
You-
Just… You.
I think you haven’t grasp the right words yet
You are still on your youngest
Waiting to be out of your chrysalis
You are just a makeshift butterfly
Making yourself as beautiful;
As colorful;
But you
Yes… You.
You are just a tiny dot
That you think is a whole paragraph to my whole existence
You… Yes… You.
That won’t appreciate these ponderful lines
That I’m about to create
That you will hate
To your fullest.
You… Yes… You.
That thinks only of formality
The colorful spread of your wings and yet-
Order.
As informal as this poem is
You were just like this
An utterly complete piece of-
Solid
that hard punch
in my chest
that scarred me for my whole existence
Liquid
these waterfall
in my eyes
that tire the hell out of my soul
Gas
the gloom
in my life that sheds tears as I am
Matter
different; one of a kind
which I will never be to you
how i wish
I could see
the stars
of heaven
was the belt
of Orion
as heavy as a gem,
or as tattered
as jaagged
as tattered as mine?
how i wish
i could see
the stars
of heaven
were the brightest
of all
as obtainable at hand
or are they just wanderers
farther than the skies can go,
just a single spot of white?
how i wish
i could see
the stars
of heaven
were their rays
as radiant
as the good samaritans
or are they a blinding sight
with luster
but no radiance, just a twinkle
how i wish
i could see them
but they’re too sparkly
for a poor child like me
who looks up at the skies
but sees unreachable stars
I won’t forget
Those shades
Of blue and white
Shining upon thee
It’s as if time has set
That place
Of darkness and light
Of peace and serenity
I won’t forget
Those shimmering shades
At six forty- three
the glow is thee
It’s been a few years
But you didn’t come back to me
Those years, I’m in tears, for you
You set me free
Loving does hurt
Crushing my pride too much
Believing this fantasy
That’s fatal to latch
Either you gain, or you grieve for love
But I guess I won’t do it all again
For love is a room
Of endless space and darkness
Time’s never frozen nor still.
Should I keep this piece of paper
In my ripped jeans?
Tearing my spirit
’till we again, meet
where you left me all alone.
I waited for you to come home
If you think it was just a play of words
I shouldn’t have let you
If you think you can piece me like the way you want to
Think back, I work my own chords
Stick here, stick out
These thoughts from random, now into your coherence
Drop low, slip out
I won’t let your interference
Stop this change, from bark to phloem
I’m not your slave
Neither I’m a magnetic poem
Find someone else, someone you crave
There.
Enjoy these flashing lights,
while you can
while you still can.
Here.
Grasp them little by little
while you can
while you still can.
Oh no.
Chase after them!
before they’re gone
before they’re long gone.
I told you so.
Now you’re left
with nothing
all but nothing.
You should’ve held my hand
when you’re immersed
in these lights
these big, flashing lights
But you knew better for yourself.
That these lights
are better chased
better chased rather than us.
Time’s ticking
the sun’s about to rise
but there’s no need for hurrying
when weather’s nice
As if seconds were hours
and hours were days
in a standstill; serene
in day that works for two
With them is delight
through adventures though long
The longest days, they feel right
quests that come in a throng
At the blink of an eye is greatness
that locks in our inner self
that rages our soul
to move on greater heights
At the blink of an eye is courage
that covers our soft melody
that hardens our hearts
to be the best we can be
At the blink of an eye is me
ready for my great battle
in assurance of victory
to my way of paradise